Creative Quotations from Mae West 1892-1980 - Born on August 17 U.S. Actress; She is famous for her sex appeal, frankness, and film with W.C. Fields, My Little Chickadee, 1940. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- It is better to be looked over than overlooked. When choosing between two evils, I always like to take the one I've never tried before. I'm no modeol lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing. To err is human, but it feels divine. I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it. When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better. A hard man is good to find. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I must say I hate money, but it's the lack of it I hate most. Katherine Mansfield Ducking for apples. Change one letter and it's the story of my life. Dorothy Parker It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in the street and frightn the horses. Beatrice Stella Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. Hedy Lamar ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Man is what he believes. Anton Chekhov In order to achieve anything, you must be brave enough to fail. Kirk Douglas Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards. Vernon Sanders Law She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. Women with "pasts" interest men because men hpe that history will repeat itself. Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out. I used to be "Snow White" but I drifted. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Imagination was given to man to compensae him for what he is not' a sense of humor to console him for what he is. Francis Bacon If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Scott Adams Excellence is not a skil. It is an attitude. Ralph Marston Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people - and kill 'em. Woody Allen When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future. Bernard Meltzer History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. Napoleon Bonaparte The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent on it, can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the universe to do. Galileo Galilei It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. Aristotle Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns When we honestly ask ourselves which person in or lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share out pain and touch our woulds with a warm and tender hand. Henri Nouwen All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. Walt Disney I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect. Steven Wright I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. W.C. Fields I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. Pablo Picasso I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. Rodney Dangerfield You're not drunk if you can lie of the floor without holding on. Dean Martin A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink. W.C. Fields I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody. Jay London Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks. But not the ones she's been givin' me lately. Jeff Foxworthy Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. W.C. Fields I've lost my faith in science. Bette Davis I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot. Rodney Dangerfield I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. Henry Youngman My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. Ritta Rudner I just put you at the top of my To-Do-List. If I flip a coin, what are the odds of me getting head. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for sex! I'm trying to see things from your point of veiw, but I can't stick my head that far up my ass. Silence is Golden. Duct Tape is Silver. ----------------------------------------------------------------------